i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
