this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
