you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
they're like a gay fantastic four
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize