Yo dont text me then not text me
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
