I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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