Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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