Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
