operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
