put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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