Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Do you still have your period?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
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