More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
