You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
