call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
