dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
