I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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