Dude my mom stole all your condoms
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
