It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
