No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
