Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
