Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
