he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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