My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize