I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
