Can Purell be used as lube?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize