love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
she looked like the before picture.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
