so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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