I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Sacagawea was the original milf.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
