I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
