mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
