Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
