Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
