just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
