it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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