it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
