The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize