If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
