I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
