so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
