I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
