Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize