First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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