somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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