I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
