Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
its not stalking. its research.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
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