Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
