her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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