Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
