I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
The beer is more important than you right now.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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