If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
