he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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