He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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