I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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