let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
