So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
So much Jack, so little girl.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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