you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
