Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I got her a Nickelback box set.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
tell me about the eggs
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
