omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
