I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
