I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
