it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
