my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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