Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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