you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
