Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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