He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
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