Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
