In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
as a side note pls kill me
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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